My Super Awesome Family Curse

My mother, grandmother (the one from my mom’s side), and I seem to take after one another when it comes to breaking technology.

My grandmother started to develop this skill when I was younger. Back in the VCR days, my granny would try to record her soap operas and Hallmark movies on VHS. At the climax of her cursed years, she would call around every four weeks to tell us she broke her VCR. Yes, you did your math correctly. My grandmother went through thirteen VCRs in twelve months. We still have no clue how shoe managed to break them.

A few years later, the curse struck again. She called my mom one night asking how to get her channels back to English. We thought she had turned on the Spanish subtitles. Nope.

“Here, Kim, listen,” my grandmother said as she held the phone up to the television, so my mom could hear the Spanish version of “Days of Our Lives.”

Naturally, my mom started laughing hysterically because, as my grandmother changed channels, only about a third of them were in Spanish. According to my grandmother, all she did was turn on the TV. I bet she ran over the remote control with her wheelchair again since it had a new band-aid on it the next time we visited.

This “curse” I inherited has affected my cell phones, cameras, computers, and televisions. All of these are multiple because I have managed to break at least one of every technological device I have ever owned. The best story involves two televisions, though.

It was the fall semester of my sophomore year of college, and I had just gotten home for Thanksgiving break. As I was taking my luggage to my bedroom, I heard this high-pitched racket coming from our recreation room. I snooped around the way my cat would using my ears to guide me to the cause of the noise. I managed to hone in on the television. I tried pressing the power button to see if the constant high-pitched sound would subside, but the noise did not quit. I went downstairs to tell my dad our upstairs TV was making a funny sound and would not turn on hoping he would be able to fix it.

At first my dad starting trying to fix the TV in my bedroom.  I laughed as I explained I was talking about the television in the center room of our second floor and harassing him about old age messing with his hearing.

Once he started evaluating the correct TV, my dad decided the best course of action was to unplug the TV then plug it back in.  We heard a little “poof” as soon as the TV got power.  The smoke got our attention before the smell of something burning.  This television was one of the old deep ones, so the smoke was slithering out of the venting slits on the back.  My dad quickly unplugged the thing and checked to make sure there wasn’t a flame inside the television.  I was fanning the smoke away from our smoke detectors in an effort to spare our cat and dog’s ears.

“This thing is leaving the house now!” my dad stated.  He did not was to take any chances with that fire hazard of a TV.  My mom watched us quickly put the television out by our curb.

“The Jones curse strikes again!” my mom couldn’t help but chuckle.  We all get a good laugh whenever this TV is brought up.

Roughly three weeks later, when I came home for winter break, I noticed the TV in my room was broken.  My parents heard me giggling as I came into our living room.

“What did you break now?” my mom dared to ask.

“I just want to say, it’s not my fault.  All I did was turn on my TV and the picture has moved about an inch to the right.”

If you looked at my television screen, the left side had about an inch wide black gap.  There is just no escaping this family trait!

You might be wondering why I thought about this curse today.  One word:  Work.  I’ve spent the past two weeks calling or emailing IT trying to get some software to download or work.  We finally decided to make a VM for my computer.  Now, the project I’m trying to compile won’t even build.  Just my luck, right?  Turns out, they haven’t tested this program on the platform of my VM.

Maybe I should mention this trait on my resume: Mad skills at destroying technology.  Who wouldn’t want to hire me with that talent?

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